It is about dern time I updated this dern thing. Monday was our first wedding anniversary. We had grand plans to go camping or a short trip to Iowa City, but we have been so busy, that I just wanted to stay in town and work in the garden and sit on the porch, and DH accomodated me.
Here is a list of what we did together this weekend to celebrate:
(list 31) What DH and I Did To Celebrate Our First Anniversary
1. Cleaned the gutters. They needed it. And nothing says life-long committment more than cleaning gutters together.
2. Loaded a 20-ft dumpster with yard waste. This is our second one. Our back yard now is clear of rogue poison ivy and other vines and weed trees. It really was an overgrown wasteland. It looks perty darn decent – which if you have seen our backyard before we did all this, you know that is saying something. Still a little wild, still A LOT of trees – but manageable and pretty in its own way.
3. Went shopping for our gear for our Montana excursion in July. We each got appropriate boots/shoes and DH got a very cool photographer’s vest sort of thing with lots of pockets. He loves pockets.
4. On the night of our anniversary, Bill made me his delicious vegan lasagna. Second only to his delicious vegan biscuits and “sausage” gravy.
5. After our excursion shopping, we hung out on the porch and had some cocktails. I invented Porch Beer – I highly reccomend it –
1. A bottle of Mexican lager, like Tecate.
2. 1/2 an orange or tangelo or a whole clementine, cut in half or quarters
3. A lime, cut in quarters
4. Two shots of coconut rum (like Malibu)
5. Four frozen or fresh strawberries
6. A cup of limeade (Simply Limeade is the best.)
Directions: Squeese the citrus and smush the strawberries. Divide the fruit into two TALL beer glasses. Add a couple ice cubes to each glass. Pour in 1/2 a cup of limeade into each glass. Pour in a shot of run into each glass. Top with beer. Stir and enjoy.
6. Planted some hostas, a bleeding heart, and a coral bell in our shady garden in the back.
7. Potted some flowers and peppers and tomatoes on our back patio.
8. Exchanged gifts – I gave him a bottle of scotch (men can be easy to shop for) and he gave me supplies to make my own books – something I have wanted to do for a while – and perfect since the 1st anniversary is the paper anniversary.
As you can see, a lot of house and garden work – but I actually had a great time. It was so good to get that stuff done. And so cool to see the backyard looking so dapper after living there so many years with it being really overgrown.
The first year of marriage has been challenging and wonderful. I never thought I would ever get married – I am a hard-core individualist who can be stubborn and a lot to take. Top that off with being an only child – and I am a *real* treat. I married someone who can handle all of that and still respects and loves me. How lucky am I?
Here is what I have learned about marriage this first year:
(list 32) Stuff I have learned in the first year of marriage
1. You have to try every day. You can never phone it in. Well, you can, but there will be consequences.
2. Let go of some stuff. A marriage is a huge commitment (duh), and if you are going to make time to do it right, there won’t be time for other things.
3. Say “Thank you.” and “I love you.” whenever possible.
4. Always kiss when you say hello or good bye.
5. It is ok to not agree on everything – but make sure you say what you need to say.
6. Everbody’s marriage is different. You can seek advice from your married friends, but at the end of the day, you have to decide what is right for the two of you, even if people may judge you harshly for your decisions.
7. Marriage doesn’t change who you are.
8. It is really reassuring to have someone to cuddle next to when I get scared in the middle of the night. At least once a week I have worrying thoughts or scary dreams that wake me up and threaten to keep me awake. But once I cuddle next to DH for a few minutes, I am calmed down. I don’t know how I survived without that.
9. It is hard to make time to do things without each other, but it is absolutely important.
10. It is essential to still have dates – I always thought this one was overblown – but without the occassional romantic nights in or out, you run the risk of becoming just congenial roomates.
And, as a final note, I really am glad the wedding is over. It was a stupendous day – but not planning a wedding is a good feeling – I don’t know why it is so much work, but it really is.