If I Had a Million Dollars…

First, like Ms. Parker, I would be darling at it.

Second, I would think long and hard on how to waste the money to bring my ruin.   Used correctly, a million dollars could allow me and my band to live modestly but easily for many years.

But who am I kidding?  I don’t do well with an extra G.  A mil would be gone in a moment, like sand through my fingers on the shore of Biarritz.

But I wouldn’t go to Biarritz with my million.  They wouldn’t treat me well there.  It would be no fun – all the fabulousness would be jarring.

Rather, I would start my descent with the Hermes Picotin Lock – in dark brown.  Nearly $2500, seems like the perfect symbol of my ability to waste on a grand scale.  Unlined, made to look like a nosebag, I drool.  I will own.

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 4.08.17 PM

It won’t end there.  Next, I will have you.  Italian. Orange.  The Pelligrino of my dreams.

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 4.40.18 PM

Now for something a little radical, something to show the Missouri set that I know what’s what…

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 4.36.59 PM

A bag to wear to let people know I know how to waste money even when I am wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans…

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 4.27.31 PM

And of course something pink and American…

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 4.34.19 PM

And thousands of bags later, the creditors will come.  And I will bury the Picotin Lock in Dark Brown in the ground.  Forever you shall be mine.

It is probably a very good think I don’t have a million dollars.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s