Last weekend we hosted two of the kids’ friends for a sleepover and a comedy magic show.
Here are my insights:
1. I hope friends are a reflection of the type of person we are. Because my friends are way awesome – awesomer than me. And it was great to see that the kids have awesome friends too.
SS’s friend was just about the coolest kid in the history of 10 yr olds. He knew Kings of Leon and has a burgeoning sardonic humor and a funky fresh haircut. And he appreciates knowledge – which is good, cuz SS has some.
And don’t even get me started on SD’s friend. She was off the hook. Very bookish, very friendly, very funny – and had pockets full of contraband Jose Pepper peppermints.
2. I don’t get boys. I don’t understand the overt competition. Or why they are so grabby of each others’ possessions. And why they don’t like to talk about who has a crush on who. And all the loud noises. Being married has inoculated me from the fact that the male gender completely frickin’ eludes me. DH is a beautiful anachronistic match for me. But the complete puzzlement I felt while observing SS and his friend reminded me why I completely gave up trying to comprehend straight men fairly early in life, resulting in – 1. Most of my male friends in life have been gay and 2. I spent part of my early 20s dating women even though I am not really attracted to women romantically (again, sorry those women).
I am being extra nice to DH since this – as I have been reminded that I probably need to hold onto the one member of the male gender who is straight and I can relate to.
3. My SD has SIX boys who have a crush on her – 6!!!!!!! She can understand boys (she has a twin brother, after all), and so girl talk is not exactly her thing. But in the long car rides this weekend to and fro Liberty, Prairie Village, and Olathe, her friend shared with me that there are many, many boys who have a crush on SD, including one who has had a crush on her for 4 years!!!!!!!!!
This is interesting to me because in my entire school career (k through college), there were exactly 1 boys who had a crush on me. And he was a literal psychopath (long-time readers of this blog will remember he is the first boy I kissed (5th grade) and now is prison for murder via decapitation – happy story). I dated, but I worked for that – strategic campaigns that required military-level planning and precision. And by the 5th grade SD has SIX boys with a crush on her. And she is like, “whatevs” – she really seems like she couldn’t care less. Bless her. It just isn’t that interesting to her. I think she feels badly for them because their crushes are unrequited and that they get nervous around her, but that it really isn’t her problem.
One of the reasons boys didn’t like me was because I was big and had weird hair. SD definitely does not have those problems – she is so pretty and graceful and has straight, non-weird hair. The other reason boys didn’t (don’t?) like me is because I have this crazy big not shutty up personality. And that is boy antidote.
I don’t want SD to have a personality as over-the-top as mine, but I don’t want her to be seen as a quiet vessel by boys – in which their personalities can take over and allow them to NOT SHUT UP. I wish for her enough boldness in her that the weak boys are scared off, and the awesome boys are intrigued. And for her to not be interested in any of it until she is 29.