I am feeling more than a little bit lost… A week and a half ago I came back from a work trip that was heinous.  I had to work 5 12-hour night shifts, 7p to 7a, which consisted of numbing boredom punctuated by serious demoralization.  I only have to do a trip like that every few years – but it does really, truly suck.  And I don’t bounce back.

And I know it was temporary, and I know I need to get over it… but I haven’t been able to get my life back.  I ate badly, didn’t exercise, kept the schedule of a vampire.  I feel behind at work and at my personal life.  And now I feel beaten by life.

I am not good at my job and am facing two months of being really bad at it… I am not ready to face keeping up with school again.  And my sluggish feeling no longer can be attributed to a week of funny sleep schedule.

I am officially down.  Not out, just down.  But I can’t find whatever groove I had.  All I can do is watch West Wing reruns and tell myself that it is ok to go one day without showering.

I have to do better at my job, my marriage, my life.  Posting on this thing is my first shot in the battle.  I didn’t know where else to start.  Next is laundry.  Then a shower.  Then putting my shoulders back and facing my work e-mail.  But first, just one more episode of The West Wing.


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