I am feeling more than a little bit lost… A week and a half ago I came back from a work trip that was heinous. I had to work 5 12-hour night shifts, 7p to 7a, which consisted of numbing boredom punctuated by serious demoralization. I only have to do a trip like that every few years – but it does really, truly suck. And I don’t bounce back.
And I know it was temporary, and I know I need to get over it… but I haven’t been able to get my life back. I ate badly, didn’t exercise, kept the schedule of a vampire. I feel behind at work and at my personal life. And now I feel beaten by life.
I am not good at my job and am facing two months of being really bad at it… I am not ready to face keeping up with school again. And my sluggish feeling no longer can be attributed to a week of funny sleep schedule.
I am officially down. Not out, just down. But I can’t find whatever groove I had. All I can do is watch West Wing reruns and tell myself that it is ok to go one day without showering.
I have to do better at my job, my marriage, my life. Posting on this thing is my first shot in the battle. I didn’t know where else to start. Next is laundry. Then a shower. Then putting my shoulders back and facing my work e-mail. But first, just one more episode of The West Wing.