This week has sucked. I haven’t been good or strong. I have sucked at my job – publicly. I started yesterday with tears. And I have only been doing stuff that was bad for me and telling myself it was OK. But it is not OK. And today is better. I have worked out, I have had a grapefruit, and I am working on sorting through a gigantic bag of CDs I need to download or otherwise sort. And it is OK.
Sometimes it is hard for me to be quiet with my thoughts – not because of anything particularly bad – but work, bills, personal relationships, my weight, my health, my parents’ health, kids’ college… sometimes it is just loud. And nothing makes it quiet quite like bad television, food, and lately, Sims 3.
But I want more to life. And that means starting days right more often than I start them wrong. And persevering through crud at work. And turning the other cheek without it reducing me to tears.
So here is to doing the right things – although all I feel like doing are the wrong things. I am commencing faking it until I am making it.