No F’ING way! (Day 1)

I ate 1233 calories today.  That’s it… really.  I am blown away by this.  I figure that has had to have happened before – but never on purpose.  I have made many commitments to myself… but actually making it through he first day right hasn’t happened since I was 17.  I have started and stopped WW a bazillion times, but I always eat all my extra points by the third day in and then suck on the 4th day and then start all over again.

I am trying the Carb Lover’s Diet – I am not sure there is anything special about it except that it is readily available food (and adjusts *almost* seamlessly for a vegan).  The first week is the breaking in which is 1200 calories a day for seven days – and then you get to eat more.  I mean, I am hungry, don’t get me wrong.  But not the beasty sort of uncontrollable hunger that I felt almost all waking hours before I got a good doctor who got my PCOD metabolism problem under control.  I think what I am feeling is normal hunger, not MWAHAHAHAHA JUST GIVE ME FOOD AND MY BODY WILL CONVERT IT TO FAT IMMEDIATELY SO THAT I AM CONSTANTLY HUNGRY AND WANT TO CRY AND EAT AND SCREAM hunger.  Pretty big difference.

I was dreading the evening most of all.  I usually do OK during the days but feel and act really out of control in the evenings.  And I knew at the end of the day all that was waiting for me was a veggie burger on whole wheat with 1 tsp of mustard and an apple and that is f’ing it.  Any iteration of me prior to today would not have been able to do that.  Not an exaggeration.  But today I could.  Keys to success (yes – I realize it has been just one day – but that is one more day than I have gone in a looooong time):

1. Medication that makes my body actually convert carbs into energy so that my body doesn’t think it is being starved.

2. The World’s Best Veggie Burger from Local Burger.  I generally can’t stand veggie burgers – I will eat them in a pinch, and often it is the only option for me in some situations, but generally I find them gross.  So when my husband and I went to Local Burger and the world’s best is what they claimed, I scoffed.  Sort of like the world’s best steamed brussel sprouts – great big honor there.  And then I bit into it and it was AWESOME!  I mean truly, seriously wonderful.  It doesn’t taste like a burger, it tastes great – and completely vegan except for the bits of their soul they had to give to the devil to make such an awesome tasting veggie burger.  They sell frozen patties you can make at home, and I begrudgingly bought some at my husband’s prodding – I went for four patties instead of the big box my husband suggested (stupid, stupid, stupid)- because I was fairly certain that home preparation would make it the mealy thing that I can get at home already from one of many boxes – veggie burgers that taste like sadness.  I thought there was no way I could recreate its fantasticness at home, but two rounds in the toaster (yes, the toaster) on a medium setting (I don’t have a “defrost” setting on my toaster – I am not a frickin’ Rockefeller) and it was GREAT!

3. Fandy schmancy french tarragon mustard on the world’s best veggie burger -tres yum!

4. Getting away from the treats – there are cookies and candy downstairs – I am staying out of their way.

5. Committing to sticking to a plan to my trainer so that she can study this Carb Lover’s Diet thing – I am nothing if not a supporter of scientific questioning.  I don’t want to let the side down.

6. I am only letting myself watch trashy teenage television shows on my iPad on a cardio machine…. and I *really* wanted to know what happened when J got back in town after being banished by Blair!  So I spent an hour working out – which was one hour less not thinking about not eating food.

I do think that my rumbly tummy will get me out of bed early tomorrow morning – which means I could get to the gym before work which would be great.  I have a 90210 waiting for me.  Oh, that this works.

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