I *need* to stop saying next month will be better. Next month is never better – I need to give up this belief in the mythical month where I am not too busy. Like my red-headed Annie angeldog and my cuddably scholastic husband, busy is my constant, welcome companion. I am busy because my life is full of things I love. And like doggie kissies and *complete* explanations of histories of Roman emperors, I need to open my arms to busy and give it a big ol’ welcome home hug, you big goober.
Part of that welcome is stopping, breathing, taking one thing at a time… that can be hard for me to do when there are physical manifestations of my to do list everywhere – things I have to do and things I want to do:
1. GRE flash cards glaring at me.
2. My blinking to-do list of sh*t I have to get done for work this weekend. (OH! Weekend work – you are the hardest for me to embrace!)
3. Halloween cookie cutters for the cookies I promised the kids we would do this weekend.
4. A workout schedule on my calendar.
5. Beading magazines full of fun and satisfying projects.
6. Present I have to get done for my friend by the end of this weekend.
And there are the activities buzzing in my head:
7. Haunted barn with the kids.
8. Haunted nature center with the kids.
9. Pick up book in midtown.
10. Lunch with friends
Tooooo much to do – busy, busy, busy. But I am going to figure it out. I have to figure it out. In a couple of months I hope to be going to grad school – all while maintaining good friendships, staying good at my job, remaining awesomest stepmom of the century status, and staying healthy. Ugh. It means I need to practice this month getting to great – less TV, waking up on time, and staying vigilant with organization. That doesn’t sound like any fun – but if I can do that, I can have time for everything.
There is this guy who sits next to me at work who goes to the gym every morning. I really admire that – EVERY MORNING. I know if I could do that I would be so much happier – my evenings would be mine to do whatever I need to – even if that is working. And free from guilt for not exercising. But it is so hard to wake up in the morning – SO HARD!! But I wan’t to – enough that right now I believe I can do it. And I am full in belief of tweaking a few other things to have the life I need to do to be successful – turning off the television, putting away things when I am done with them, surviving the boredom of planning-ahead grocery shopping and cooking.
This morning I woke up at 6:45 (only 1.5 hours late!), went to the gym, picked up flowers, ate a healthyish breakfast, showered, and now am blogging – a routine – and leaving space for everything else I need to get done today. And the stuff I want to!
So here is to November getting me to great – myself getting me to the person I need to be to be a student, stepmom, friend, exerciser, worker, crafter, wife – that is a long list – but I can do it. I will have to let some things go so I can get all of this. And I know one day I will miss all of this craziness.