In search of Ken…

I LOVED Barbie when I was a kid… I mean, LOVED Barbie. I would play with her and her friends for hours. I had lots of Barbies… using allowance, birthdays, and Christmas to acquire more and all of the accoutrement. I had a Barbie townhouse with a working elevator which was the coolest thing ever.

I had a bunch of blond Barbies, a Cher doll who towered over the Barbies and fit only one dress so always looked out of place at the parties, and two Ken dolls. One was your typical 80s Ken doll – with molded plastic hair and molded plastic whitey tighties (they were actually flesh-colored whitey tighties). The other was 70s Ken that I got off my Aunt Betty. He was va va va voooom… realish hair and commando with a sort of hint of genitalia. 80s Ken had a good job and went to all the right parties… but 70s Ken got passed around like the only sailor on leave at Ladies’ night. He was the man. I remember dramas involving Barbie 1 walking in on Barbie 2 “making out” with 70s Ken and a big fight ensuing. It was a complicated world.
So for her 9th birthday, my SD asked for a Ken doll. She has lots of Barbies in my misguided attempt to get her as in to the vapid blonde as I was, but she never really got into it. But then she asked for a Ken doll… and I was on it!!
I went to Target…. and… wow… there are no Ken dolls. Check that… there are two Ken dolls. Option one is a “Fashionista Ken”… no no no no no. My husband is a sweet, patient, kind, generous man. But I know that one of the rules of our marriage is I can never ever bring back a doll who has a leather hat for his daughter. It is something I just *know*.
Fashionista Ken:
Option two… the latest version of Malibu Ken. He is cheap… literally. But he has that look in his eye…. ya know the one… where he can never hold down a job, flirts with all of Barbie’s friends, and filches money from her purse for pot. He is just no good. And he doesn’t have shoes. But he was better than Fashionista Ken… and I couldn’t be Kenless for SD’s birthday….
Malibu Ken:
and then I saw him… Edward! Yes, he was more expensive. But he was dreamy. And had shoes and normal clothes and those smoldering eyes. Hello Ken!
I brought the pot smoker and the vampire home, and DH begrudgingly agreed to Edward. Although I could tell he was hoping for a third option, like having his fingernails ripped out. I am not sure what she is going to do with Edward… but I know 70s Ken would approve. (80s Ken died early from a cocaine overdose.) And I am not going to look at Edward’s underwear… I AM NOT! Even though the doll does have glittery skin and I am DYING of curiosity. But I am a grup.
SD’s comments? He is pale and he looks older. LMAO!
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