One night several moons ago, DH and I went out with a friend to see a cabaret show. It was the first night DH had heard the phrase “bringing sexy back”. Being from another generation, despite being in his 30s, he was fascinated and aghast at this particular turn of phrase.
Driving home that night, our friend pointed out one of the many characters out at midnight downtown. A middle-aged woman, looking more than slightly intoxicated, was toting an empty red wagon behind her. My friend and I started giggling, and I said “Why does she have that wagon?” Not missing a beat, and as wry as the bread on a Reuben sandwich, DH said “She is bringing sexy back. It’s in the wagon.”
I laughed until I could barely catch my breath.
If sexy can be transported in a radio flyer, here is my top ten list of ways NOT to bring sexy back:
1. Scratch your belly in front of other people.
2. Cackle at your own jokes.
3. Wear pleated jeans the color of pale sky.
4. Text on your phone while in a conversation with someone.
5. Talk about your childrens’ bowel movements.
6. Talk about how much your car cost.
7. Whistle while you work. In a cubicle. Next to other people.
8. Ask me if you can ask me a question before every question you ask me.
9. Talk on the cell phone while you are in a public bathroom.
10. Tell stories about how other people told you that you were very attractive/funny/smart.