I am limiting myself to one sweet a week. I have tried to do this for the last several weeks, with mixed results. I think it is good to do this during the time of year when there are the most tempting delectables around. But it also is hard. Right now there is a gigantic plate of cookies sitting a few feet away from me. Every day at work there is a new tempting offering.
When I was at my dieting best, I was being a very strict vegan. And being a very strict vegan means very few sweets. Any dessert I wanted I would have to make myself. I remember having vegan cake at Eden Alley on my 31st birthday – it had been months since I had a piece of cake – and it was the best piece of cake I had ever had.
And I think that is how I lost 60 lbs in the days of yore. And why I have I gained 40 of it back? By allowing myself those indescretions. I have in my mind a simple formula for how I can lose and then maintain weight – it worked once, it can work again. But I need to choose to make it work – choose to make myself healthy over having “just one” again and again and again.
Work with all the sweets is hard – but my nights at home by myself are even harder. When I was single and it was working, my house was purged of all easy temptations. So that if I did *need* a cookie I would have to open the flour and sugar tins and get cracking. With a family that includes two kids, my house now is full of sweet temptations. Doing a quick inventory in my head right now – pop tarts, halloween candy, christmas candy, chocolate ice cream cones. Ugh.
And so last night I had the whole evening to myself. Danger, Will Robinson. I ate my baked potato, had a couple pieces of fruit. And then sat there telling myself that the sweets weren’t worth it… that I could make it through this night. That I am worth not putting that stuff in my mouth. Yes, I might have a food addiction. Maybe.
I tried to distract myself with reading and crafting, but I had had such a hard, long day at work, I really wanted to just sit and watch something. Some nights are just like that.
Then I had a BRILLIANT idea… LOVE ACTUALLY.
I popped in the DVD and realized Love Actually is like a completely calorie-free decadent dessert! Oooey, gooey, so sweet and so filling. I made notes during the movie about what made watching Love Actually better than caramel-filled chocolate. Here is the list:
1. The opening sequence of people greeting each other at the arrivals gate. It reminds me how much I love the people I love. And gets me crying early on.
2. Juliette (Keira Knightley) walking down the aisle looking so beautiful in her middriff dress and feathery wedding hat thing. Next to Kate Winslet, she has to be the prettiest English girl.
3. Daniel (Liam Neesom) lifting the coffin of his wife – the shot where they show his big hand with his wedding ring hoisting up the coffin and he begins to cry.
4. David the Prime Minister (Hugh Grant) checking out the bottom of his assistant Natalie. And then telling himself to stop and be a grown up. OH – and then threatening to have her
boyfriend who called her fat offed by the secret service.
5. David the Prime Minister dancing around to the Pointer Sisters song.
6. All the breathtaking shots of London.
7. Colin Firth. Just colin Firth.
8. Daniel saying to his stepson “We need Kate and we need Leo and we need them now!” when his stepson is telling him about being rejected by the girl of his dream. I love all of their scenes together. And I love the parent-stepkid relationship in that movie – definitely something for me to aspire to as my stepkids get older.
9. Mark flipping through posters to his best friend’s wife telling her he is in love with her, and he knows they can’t do anything about it, but he wants to make sure she knows that she is perfect. Total tears at that scene.
10. And then my absolute favorite thing about the movie is the theme of women sacrificing their own passions and emotions to provide support for others. That theme is throughout the relationship with Sara (Laura Linney) and Carl, but I really love the Emma Thompson scenes. She is just frickin’ brilliant in this movie. She finds out that her husband gave another woman a gold necklace and she takes a moment and cries in the bedroom while listening to the Joni Mitchell song “Both Sides”. Then she fights back her tears so she can be upbeat for her children on the night of their Christmas pageant. It gets me every time!!
(The only thing I don’t like about that movie is when the guy from England goes to Milwaukee
to meet women, and the bar he goes into is full of Budweiser paraphanalia. I have been to
Milwaukee many times, and that isn’t accurate. Stoopid product placement.)
If you have not seen this movie… see it!! This is just a sampling of the wonderfulness
that awaits you. And on the DVD there are some really great deleted scenes.