Cruddy!

I am in a cruddy mood. I don’t want to be. I am trying not to be. I want to pick a fight with the world, but I don’t – I won’t. I will blog. See how mature and 21st century I am? Whatever.

Begin rant…

I have a stupid, pointless, CRUDDY, freakin’ bladder infection. It started yesterday, I had meetings all day and was miserable… having to run to the bathroom between each meeting. Yes, too much information, but this is my rant. So last night I went to bed at 8. Did I want to go to bed at 8? NO! Do I want my life to be wake, work, bed, repeat? NO! I want to watch TV or read a book or do anything other than sleep after working all day. But I went to bed like a good girl so that I could get over the infection. And I did! For while…

Then at 3 today BAM!! it hit me again… worse than ever. But I had so much to do that I had to stay at work until 6. Not completely true – I had to stay at work because I am indespensible. What does it mean to be indespensible?? Oh, I will tell you. It means you have to do your work on weekends and between 7 and 9 am and 5 and 6 pm because everybody asks you questions about everything because you are so nice and knowledgeable and never tell them to go away because you are really busy and want to go home and crawl into bed and cry because you have a HORRIBLE BLADDER INFECTION. And no matter how desperate and frustrated I get, I never can ask to be left alone… to the point that people make jokes about it. “I know you are so busy right now, but you won’t tell me to go away.” I AM NOT KIDDING. By the way, did I start this rant by asking you not to judge me? Please don’t judge me. (As if anybody is still reading this!)

And so everybody finally left by 5:15 and I got some work done. And then drove home in pain. And then sweet DH was fixing butternut squash soup at my request. But I think he was a little peeved that I didn’t come home at a decent hour and help make the soup I suggested! Ok, he probably wasn’t peeved because he is never peeved, but he should have been. (The soup was excellent, btw.)

But, while making the soup the garbage disposal quit disposing. Instead, it became a very effective water churner. So I went to Sears to pick up a “garbage disposal tool” – how I know it to be called and something to cure this unending bladder infection problem. (I have a dr.’s appointment on Friday… quit judging!)

Here is the picture of me at Sears:

Dress: Two sweatshirts, my soft pants that are two sizes two big but I won’t give them up because I will never find pants as soft if I live a thousand years that I have to keep hiking up, my big rainbow-colored scarf wrapped around my neck several times, my dirty tennis shoes over my pink slipper socks. And no bra, but I didn’t need to say that, I am sure. Oh and my face was all splotchy because I cried all the way to Sears.

Mood: Bad

Gait: A mix of doubled-over in pain and the pee-pee dance.

One thing I like about Sears is the staff:customer ratio is 1:1 usually, so it is easy to find someone to help me. Although, I usually like to avoid involving staff when I am looking for something, I like my anonymity. But tonight I wasn’t fooling around. I found a willing victim and squeaked out, “I am looking for a garbage disposal tool thing to unlock the grinder. It is like a hex wrench thing.” Which of course was followed by him looking at me like I had just dropped acid and was in here thinking of crazy things to ask for to amuse my drug-adled brain. But I think most store clerks look at you that way no matter what you ask for. “Excuse me, do you have any lightbulbs?” “Uh, I am not sure… let me ask.” But, he drug me around the entire appliance and tool section until we found them – while I thought to myself “I could have wandered around myself for 15 minutes… I don’t need YOU for that.” Oh well. I got the tool thingie.

And then I went to one of the most embarassing aisles in the store… Feminine Products. Ugh. The other one being the foot care section. Why, why, why, why, why are condoms and vaginal yeast infection and bladder pain treatments on the same display? I mean, I guess it is all reproductive health stuff? Well, no, actually not… if I remember the details from my Biology degree correctly, my bladder is not part of my reproductive system! Is it to remind young women of some of the disgusting and painful risks of intercourse if they buy condoms?

So I got home, ate the delicious soup, and now I should go to bed. The pills I bought for my symptoms are not working… but maybe some sleep will. Perchance, to dream…

End Rant.

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