I have never understood obsession with one’s age. This has mostly been a product of being young most of my life (I am now 33), but also seems like a silly thing to worry about for the following reasons:

(list 2) – Why I Do Not Understand Worrying About Age

  1. It is completely out of one’s control. Time passes at its own speed. I have tried to slow time down when eating at Le Fou Frog with my husband and tried to speed it up during meetings with annoying coworkers, but I can’t control it. And I cannot control when I was born and that time has passed since I was born, so I refused to worry about it.
  2. My favorite person in the world was really old. My best friend as a child was my great-grandmother, and she was old, obviously. But she was fun, smart, and had the best apartment and most charming friends of anybody I ever met. And she ate cherry ice cream out of pretty porcelain dishes and walked to the book store or library every day and didn’t have to go to work – if you add a cat, that seems like just about the most perfect life ever. In some ways, each day that brings me closer to that seems pretty darn good.
  3. Men and women age “differently”. To borrow a favorite word of my husband, “Bollocks!” I loathe, despise, abhor the concept that men gain value and women lose value as they get older. Enough said.

And then my 30th birthday loomed! I began to see aging not as inevitable or welcome, but the passing of time that meant I had less time to do the things I wanted to do. I reacted by having four(!) birthday parties and creating my 30 Before 30 List (with the help of a long-time friend of mine, Laurie Sevedge Beane). The list was a checklist of everything I wanted to do before I turned 30. Here are the rules of the list:

(list 3) The Rules of the N Before N List

  1. Everything on the list has to be fun. You can’t put anything on the list that has to do with reducing debt, getting a promotion, or eating more veggies – it all has to be fun!
  2. The list has to be achievable and complety under your control.
  3. It must include some travel.

Other than that, it was wide open. I achieved most of the goals on my 30 before 30 list, and had a great time doing it. If you don’t have a list, I highly recommend one! And it doesn’t need to be a list for a decade with a round number. A dear friend of mine has a 37 before 37 list (she started when she was 27), and my 7 year-old stepkids have an 8 before 8 list. (I will publish theirs in a future blog – it is THE most adorable list EVER!)

To the right, I have published my 40 Before 40 List (list 4), as well as indicating if they are completed. Future blogs will update you on my progress.

Note that I have broken two out of the three rules for lists. Some are not fun (getting out of debt) and some are not completely under my control (getting married).

If you have an N Before N List that you don’t mind sharing, please add it to the comments!


One thought on “40!

  1. Congrats on your blog! I sort of want to do one so maybe I’ll add it to my list and make 38 🙂 I might need to finish my Master’s first since I’ll find anything to distract me from my homework. I love that you included your list and there’s neat stuff on there like making things for people, which you rock at. It’s so nice of you to do something for others on YOUR list! I tried zumba once and though it was totally energetic, I felt like the most awkward person in the world so hang in there! xo mic (PS I consider you a dear friend, too!)

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